Hi there again, it's probably been 4 months down the road of my eventful life since my last posting. Somehow, it seems like I tend to get the inspiration to blog a post whenever I start feeling a little lonely. Well well, let's start updating myself on the events that had occurred over the past 4 months.

Let's start where I left off shall we? Well, as mentioned before, right after my great Penang trip, came the most daunting part of all which is the internship. One might wonder why on earth did I use the word daunting right? No, it's not because I was nervous though I got to admit the first day is always filled with butterflies in your stomach. It's because of the most unexpected of bosses that I had met. Being constantly scolded for something that you can't do is really demoralising and at times it makes you feel so helpless. Being bombarded with derogatory remarks after that was confidence sapping and to add the icing on the cake, threats of being harmed physically came soon after. I guess the final straw was when a fellow intern was fired for an equally unreasonable excuse. I knew I had to bolt out regardless of what is going to happen to my industrial training report. Take the damn risk I told myself. Luckily and thankfully a course mate of mine came to my err rescue? haha, I guess being helpful and gracious to people is always a good thing, as they always say what comes around goes around.

Securing my second internship was really a huge sigh of relief for me I would say. Over there, I learnt quite a lot of important stuff even though most of it is just technical skills. But who knows right, in the very distant future or perhaps even not so distant one, those skills that I acquired might be my saving grace. Haha. As they always say, no lesson is a waste. Actually I made that up myself lol. But I truly stand by that.

Sometimes, I really wonder why on earth am I keeping a blog when my memory is so damn good, haha, believe it or not I can still remember the textbooks contents and my examination marks from my secondary days. But I guess, sometimes, we are all just equally afraid of age that catches up with us no matter how hard we try to distance ourselves from it. Lately I realised that I am having a little trouble remembering names. For some reason I am forgetting people's name even some of my cousin's name. Pretty weird huh? Maybe my bran is just slowing down due to the lack of usage of it? Haha, getting dumber by the day eh?

Oh yeah before I forget, there was that equally amazing and wonderful trip that I went to in the east part of my country to be specific Miri. Thanks to my friend P, we went to so many places and even another country (my 2nd overseas country) Brunei. Went to caves, waterfall, trekking jungles, singing karaoke, visiting another university and not to mention the super tasty food I guess the great part is that I learnt a great deal as well while I was there. Building a great rapport with my friends was the greatest thing I guess, even though I am totally annoyed with the bloody emo king, but well, who cares right when we all had so much fun and food. Hehe.

The third year of my semester has started, and well this time around I need to complete my third year project with a completely new lecturer who is a nightmare to everyone when he claims that he doesn't know anything. But I guess life can't ever be dull, not even for a second because that is the only thing that confirms that we are alive and kicking. Or maybe it's just me? Haha, who cares right? No one does, selfish is the word that my friends preach and well I am asked to practice it. But I don't have the conscience to do that. Perhaps people will brand me as a weakling but to hell with what people think. I have a dream, a vision where one day all mankind will help one another without pondering on the reward or gain that they will get in return of their deed. I'll just have to prove to everyone that you can be successful even though you are gracious and helpful to everyone.

I just care too much for ZH to leave him aside and watch him sink. I really can't explain why I am so attached to him, for god's sake he has a companion already so what am I hoping for? I really don't know, I can't suppress my feelings even though I know it's a gooner. So why? Haha, another puzzle to figure out.

Oh yeah, I need to figure out the mobile robot that I am going to build this semester. Most likely it's going to be a stair climber. I really do wonder if I'll ever going to complete this. Well, I guess I'll allow future me to answer this. Hehe. The game that I love to play. And of course by then, I hope that I have solved the puzzle to loneliness. Ah well, life is full of twists and turns and we learn the way to make them straight every time we crossed one of the twist or even turn.

Hate a little less, love a little more,
frown a little less, smile a little more,
even though it's filled with insincerity,
no one will ever see through the pain in your eyes,
or even feel the loneliness in you heart,
because life is such a puzzle,
that only you and you alone can solve.

Till next time then I guess, stay strong and smart and be nice to everyone, don't make enemies, make allies, sometimes, feelings are to be ignored to be effective. Remember that, my self....

Post Penang Trip

Yehhh, yet another posting after a meaningful trip. Well, after going for another 3 days 2 nights trip at the northern part of my beloved country, I am super duper tired right now. Never thought writing a blog would be so incredibly tiring. I have so much to blog about yet so little energy... Arghhh...

I'll cut it short then, so let's start with the first day. As usual, me, SY and YS took the midnight bus to the north and well, this time around the bus turned up pretty late and well, I broke a little sweat while waiting for it. And without any doubt the 2 of them were bickering all day long.... Children...

The notable difference was probably YS had a love interest even though I suspect that this is just a cover up. I usually am good at predicting people's intention and stuff haha, so maybe this is right after all.

So, when we arrived, ZH picked us up from the bus station and the moment we arrived at his house we went straight to sleep. You know, we were just tired...

I think it was about 9am, YS started waking us up, but the silly thing was that, he tried waking us up with the lights off, and well unsurprisingly we find him pretty annoying because that's just what happens to people who wake others up. But to be honest, I am starting to be bothered by his sulking attitude. If there is one thing that I hate the most it would be being taken for granted and right now I have a feeling that he is doing that and obviously I have every right to feel a little annoyed by his childish behaviour. Anyways enough of that.

So, we went to the Escape theme park after that, and boy it was such a challenge. Who would have expected such an exhausting day when we first walked in. Clearly unfit, I huffed and puffed all the way when I was pulling the sliding seat uphill. Next time, do remember to get yourself up to shape before entering any of these theme parks or your money will go to waste. We went for the obstacle course after that, and to supposedly save time, we decided to go straight up to level 2. Challenging was the word to descirbe the obstacle courses that we went through but I am proud to say that all of us completed level 2! It  was funny though to see some people nearly fainting while trying to complete them and one girl totally freaking out by the height of the course. Haha.

The flying fox was quite fun, but the landing part can sometimes to a pain in the well almost everywhere because there is a freakishly high tendency of your back facing the net that you were supposed to grab. All in all I had a couple of scratches and thinned skin probably from all the rope grabbing and tree climbing and also a very painful thigh from the mid-air suspension. Haha. Luckily I didn't have my crotches squeezed up too badly, it happened only once when I didn't tighten the harness properly during the tree-climbing and boy it hurts.

I am going to stop blogging for now but there is more to come another day. I stumbled across a couple of things this time around, although I shouldn't be snooping around other people's stuff but well, I did and I found the outdated blog of his haha. Evil me... Anyways I hate the fact that he is constantly looking for me to help it's like can you not expect me to help you all the time? I hate the feeling of expectations you know and I just hate to be told what to do...

The End of the 2nd Year

Greetings people,

After a gruelling and crazy not to mention extremely crammed exam period, I am finally free yet again. I am just going to use the 'free' word loosely this time around because ah well, my first internship is coming up pretty soon and its freaking 4 months long. Thinking about all the stories that I have to tell, I guess it is very likely that I'll have to split all of that into a couple of posts.

Alright let's start off with my exams afterthought. This time, due to the extremely insufficient amount of time that was allocated to us (it's just 1 week of study break), I think I did pretty badly and there is even a slight perhaps moderate possibility of me losing my 25%. But it has all passed and there really isn't any good thinking too much about it anymore, I guess the lesson to take from this is probably that I shouldn't over indulged myself in overtly childish act for instance, dota-ing almost every single week when I am with my impulsive yet fun housemates. OH well, it's over so let's just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

So, let's get to the chase. The main reason that I am spending some time writing this post. Looking back on the past year, it made me realised that by living together with my housemates, I get to learn a little more about all of them. Let's start with the one that we have been gossiping so much about. The totally immature, SY. I guess we can't really blame him entirely on his immaturity as we didn't really do much to help him attain the mature mind that can really help in diffusing his volatile girlfriend. Just to keep this into my archive, a really big fight occurred during my stay in Pelangi that involved a couple of my friends and from the looks of it, it all blew up due to the accumulation of little things that some people couldn't and wouldn't tolerate. I don't want to put the blame on anyone in particular, but I guess everyone played a part in the lead up to this disastrous explosion of temper.

After giving this whole episode a very deep thought, I realised that one thing that I couldn't quite live with is the fact that a guy can totally give up on his identity just to please the girl that he supposedly loves. Perhaps it takes a very long and arduous time for anyone to find their own identity, but it is a very important process that none of us can afford to ignore. Your identity is the thing that makes you who you are and nobody should ever take that away from you. I am never supportive of an early relationship because emotionally fragile people can get scarred forever if unprecedented things happen.

In life, don't ever let anyone take away the noble values that you have because we must always remember to change for the better and not for the worst. As friends, we are supposed to neutralised those unhealthy habits by constantly reminding each other of our flaws and not allow those bad and toxic habits to fester and turn us into monsters that we one day can't recognise. In his situation, he never should have left her to constantly throw a fit whenever she is not happy as that is just going to morph her into an uncontrollable beast in near future.  And one definite thing is that he needs to grow up and fast. If he is constantly dictated, one day he will wake up and realised that there is nothing left of him in him and he has become her. As we all know one of the main excuse that one use for a breakup is that the other person has changed and is no longer the person that they know anymore. I am contemplating of talking to him about this but I am pretty sure that I can't do it fluently in chinese but at the end of the day I am just going to do my best.

Time for my lunch, I'll write more about how I got my internship next time as well as the happenings in my 2nd semester and whatever is it that I'll be thinking about. I need glucose now! Till next time then. :)

'Your identity is all you have, never lose or change it for anyone else, or one day you will wake up not knowing the person that you are in.'

First Posting in Pelangi haha

Ah well, after another long hiatus (seems to be the norm for me these days haha), I have some thoughts to pen (more like type down) down. Just to make sure that future me remembers when this actually is, I am currently in the second semester of my second year and well I am trying not too stress myself out too much these days. But no matter what it is that I do, life seems to always have some weird funny way of triggering the long forgotten dormant feelings that is trapped deep down inside of me. The green eyed monster that is always there has surfaced again and this time well i managed to keep it at bay without much of a thought thanks to the company of my good friends who constantly bring joy into my life.

Even though I still doubt that they'll truly understand me, I have come to know all of them better through some long late night talks and all. Going to Jin's place has made me realised how close room mates can become when they spend lots of time in their cosy rooms together. But well, I don't think I'll ever achieve that milestone with my current room mate as well we don't really talk much about things let alone close-to-heart matters. But who knows right? Things will always change in just a matter of days although I am pretty skeptical about it.

Judging from current events, pretty soon this house will only have one lonely guy that will remain as single as anyone can be, that is me. Kind of depressing when you put it that way you know haha. But well, as I type away freely there are so many things that keep flooding my mine that I want to pen down to ensure that I don't forget about it. One of it would probably my strong desire to help kiddo friend ZH. I don't quite know how I should put my finger on it but this current situation has forced me to reconsider the whole point of going to university and to decide on what is wrong and what is right. But at the end of the day, I guess the realisation that I got about 5 years ago saying that there is no such thing as right or wrong it's just a matter of perspective comes into mind. Perhaps the whole point of coming to a university is more than just studying, and sometimes even though your priority is not on studies, you can still succeed in the future. At the end of it all, I guess we are all on a path to figure out our futures and yeah it's not going to be as straight-forward or easy as you think. Hopefully I will discover it sooner rather than later.

Well, the tiredness is really starting to kick in. The quest to find someone I can fully trust and hopefully can comprehend my situation continues I guess. Perhaps those people that are currently in my life will be the answer to that but for the time being I guess I should continue to be who I am and do what I usually do best that is kicking everyone else's asses in studies. Haha. Till next time then I guess hahahaha.