Wow, it's been more than a year since I last checked in here. If you hadn't already know, a lot of things has happened in that long hiatus from blogging of mine. Well, I am pretty sure you are wondering what stories I am going to tell this time, but truth is, I am just going to briefly blog about the stories. The main emphasis on today's blog would certainly be the experience and things which I have learned this past year.
As I type freely away... I hum a familiar tune one which I forgot about a long time ago, the nostalgic tune of 'For Real' of 'gensomaden saiyuki'... It just clears my mine every time that tune plays in my mine. It's just so relaxing to hear that.
So, where do I start? Hmm, well I guess I should just update you guys with some information on where I am right now. After struggling with the demons within myself, I have finally realised the true meaning of going to a university as well as attaining a scholarship. I used to always think that I have to go to an overseas university to attain great education, but never did I realise that it doesn't matter which university you go to, the most important thing is that you learn as much as you can during this 4 short years and in order to make yourself a better person.
I always asked myself what course should I enrol into? But little did I realise that the answer is never easily found by anyone. I used to be always envious of my friends who seemed to choose their courses so easily as if they knew what they wanted all along and the pressure that I felt was really great back then. Bearing the competitive nature in me I made a hasty decision simply because I wanted to stand out from the crowd. Back then, I always knew that the course that I could never be certain about the course I chose even after my A levels. Looking back from this point now, I realised something which is that you can never be certain about what you want until you have seen something which you are truly interested in. Something which I have recently just found.
Undeniably, spending one year staying on campus is probably one good choice that I have made. The deprivation from family comfort made my appreciate my home even more and also the sacrifices which my parents have made for me. Which brings me to the scholarship hunting journey which I embarked upon years ago. I chose a longer path to graduation to prevent a future filled with regrets and what ifs, and till this day I stand by my decision because I know that in the future I won't question and beat myself up over the path not taken... After applying to a number of scholarships, and attended quite a number of interviews, I still fall short of achieving my dreams of securing a scholarship. But then I asked myself, what's the point of getting one? It was then I realised that the reason I got so upset back then was because of the shame caused by my own ego. Once I lost that, it doesn't matter anymore whether I get one or not. Yeah true, lifting the burden of my parents is still my number one priority but I asked myself why torture yourself when you can't do anything about it? Even if you have failed so many interviews the main thing is that you have risen stronger after falling down so many times. The lessons and the experience which you have gained are priceless it doesn't matter if you don't have the scholarship because in a way a scholarship is also another term of securing a loan, it's just a better way of phrasing it. As one old Chinese proverb once said 'talents are hard to find, but people who can spot talents are even harder to find'.
Oh yeah, about the campus life which I had, it was truly awesome. I have met so many wonderful friends and they have taught me so much about life. The usual naive me was always looking for fun fun and fun. But well, one good friend of mine taught me the importance of looking every situation from all angles. Even though I find that he tends to over think too much, it's really been interesting trying to analyse things like Sherlock Holmes for once. As the saying goes, you can't live with them, you can't live without them. I really understood the meaning of this phrase since coming here. It doesn't really matter if you don't talk to your best buddy for a few years or even months, because if you guys are really true friends, the moment you meet up again, you'll talk like you have never been apart before. Which is truly remarkable. Over here, I have friends coming from different backgrounds and that is the thing which sets the room alight, bright with different colours. But there are always people with ulterior motives right? Haha, every story has it's antagonist as we always say. Some people always think that they are superior than others just because they think that they have a lot of experience but the truth always is that they don't know anything about other before they start bragging in front of people. As always, I hate people who boast haha.
Some people are always not punctual taking things for granted, needing you only when the exams or assignments are due but hey life's like that. For every situation, I learned to deal with it with a calm heart. It's truly pleasing when you are at the centre of attention but well, everything has its limit. Tolerating it is the best foot forward.
Truth is I am really really tired and I have probably forgotten about most of the things which I wanted to write just now. Oh yeah, the Hong Kong drama which I just watched it was really nice because I felt I could relate to that story haha. At the end of the day, I told myself to stop trying to compete with others, just be the best you can be and learn as much as you possibly can because in the future, you are not going to be judged by the number of As you got rather it's on how much knowledge you have acquired. Another scholarship interview coming up, exams as well, and also well moving on to the next stage in life (you know what I mean).
As I mature into a fully grown adult,
I stare back down the past,
and realised how much I could have told myself,
but that's not something that I'll do,
because the decisions and the mistakes that we make in the past,
makes us who we are today,
and that's the very reason that people should never be judged by their past,
as the past makes them who they are today,
and who they are today is the one that should be judged.
This is all for today, I'll post more some other time, perhaps a few months later or even a year on who knows when I'll write again but one thing is for sure, I truly enjoyed the time I spent writing so freely without any restrictions without any format to adhere to... Times ahead are truly interesting...
