The light at the end of the tunnel?

I don't know how things will finally end but one thing is for sure, I am garnering for a switch to some other university. Sounds like I am escaping from something right? haha.

I guess I just had enough of this horrendous environment..... Throughout the entire duration, I hadn't for once felt like going to the college. Primarily because I had nothing to look forward to other than misery. Can't seem to believe how it had really changed me. Before that, I was always looking forward to school, but right now it always seems like staying home is the better option.

Hopefully when I have switched if I ever do, I will see the better things of college. So, right now which college should I choose? Somehow my parents suggests that I go to Nottingham Uni. But right now got a lot of things to consider as it is not a direct entry into the college. They say to enter the September intake would need to see results or something like that, then they will see whether to accept or not.

Haiz right now thinking what if they don't accept??? Then got to endure another 2 semesters or suffering and pain and misery. T.T

Why is life so rough? How nice it would be if it was just a smooth plane to glide through.....

That's it for now.... Will blog more about it later......

Going Nuts

Arghh, the pressure is just too much my brain is about to ......BOOM! Splatter

Something like that to describe myself right now. Sounds scary right? Haha. Just my feelings only, no worries I am not going to implode.

But to be honest, the last few weeks was a little too much for me. At one point I felt like I was at the brink of insanity. At that moment, there was just a fine line separating me from that. Luckily I am still sane till now (although I am not sure about that). So let me know if you guys noticed that I am acting a little weird. haha.

Phew, the work load is immense and right now I am rushing to complete my assignments. Damn, things are just so tough right now as the group members I am working with now is just so different. Haiz....... Missing you guys so much right now. T.T.

Just ignore me if you think I am crazy haha. Where is the real me? At this moment I can't find it.... Living under an emotionless husk, that is what I am right now.... Empty......

Doing a little soul searching right now wonder when I can find it....... Don't think it is soon though.... I guess that's it for now, I 'll blog more when I can find the time.....

I am so emptyyyyy........

Isolated......

Ever since I set foot on this university, things are just not quite the same anymore. Truth is, I really miss my friends.... Miss the moments where we share jokes and our thoughts....

Over here I feel pretty lonely, as there isn't anyone who I can share my thoughts with. Everyone is so alien, I don't really feel 'home' whenever I am there. It just doesn't feel right.... How I wish things would change, but I guess I just have to find some ways to adapt to it.

It is tough, and I don't like it. I don't get that happy feeling most of the time... Wonder where the cheerful me went... Haiz, that is just a part of life I guess....

Hey guys I really look forward to yumcha with you guys le. Quick set a date so we can have an outing!

One Hell Of A Day!

Okay, let me just start with this crazy day.... At first everything was pretty smooth, I took the KTM to KL Sentral then LRT to Asia Jaya. The moment I reached there, I saw a UTAR bus just passed by. Damn it! I cursed under my breath, then the crazy day starts.....

Today was the registration day for me at UTAR. I was supposed to go to the PD block to register. The last time I went to the other blocks, so this time I was really clueless on where I should head to. So, I took the same usual bus and headed to there like a headless chicken..... Luckily, I saw a few people which I presumed that they are going to the same place as me.

Actually I shouldn't use the word luckily. Because they were as clueless as I was. The.... I asked them on the bus where are you guys going to stop? Then they answer me that they don't know. Then I asked again after a while, when you plan to stop? Then they again say no idea.

All of a sudden, we realised we were kind of far off. Instinctively, because we don't know where we were at that time. Then we decided to get down the bus and just navigate our way there..... A few other people joined us because they thought we knew the way, in the end we were like idiots walking around in circles.

Luckily, I had the brains not like those idiots!!! I really hate them! I took out a map given by UTAR and started searching for landmarks. Phew, within minutes I found the road we were in and started walking towards that elusive block.

Then, time to register myself at the counter. What a long wait as there were about 600 students registering that day. Haiz. I was so hungry then.... I wanted to eat my bread but they were talking and talking and talking and talking........... Argghhhhh I wanted to get out of there at that moment. Wanted to shout curses at them.

Damn them all!!!!! I was going crazy at that time. Finally after some stupid integrity talk, something about girlfriend, boyfriend and the not to do thingy we were released for lunch. But the time allocated for us was hardly enough! By the time I bought my chicken rice, it was already 1.15pm and we were supposed to be back by 1.30pm.

Truth be told I was pretty lucky to get my lunch as it was almost the last 'kopek'. I kind of pity the others who had to starve..... Then it is back into the hall and more talks more talks and more talks....... I was yawning all the time and the tears that flowed in my eyes were killing me. So damn acidic. It forced me to kind of squint my eyes and I think the way I squinted at people kind of frightened them. haha.

I wasn't even talking to anyone so they kind of think of me as a freak I guess. By the end of the day I was so exhausted I barely even managed to raise my hand for the oath reading. After that all ended, it was time to figure out how to get back. I kind of managed to find a bus stop thanks to those idiots. Then I took a cab to the LRT station and got back home......after being in the packed trains......

Right now I am so tired, exhausted. I can barely find the right words to describe the horrendous situation I went through today..... What a crazy day!! I am started to hate it even though it was just the first day of college. Haiz.

Just some thoughts in my mind.....

Well, well. Really can't believe how fast time flies. Just a moment ago I thought I just finished my SPM examination. Reflecting back, it seems like a distant memory. Events after events pass by, from working to playing to holidaying and preparing to start college. Just wondering if time will ever stop for a moment. But I guess it waits for no one.

Right now it is already the middle of the year but yet I have not started college. Feeling kind of left behind..... Everyone has already set off gaining invaluable knowledge while I still sit on my couch watching TV all day long. Few more days left and I am off to college.... Really thinking of how I will adapt there. Truth be told, it was really one hull of a task for me to actually let go of my friends. My heart was pretty heavy back then, and it still is right now.

However, that part of life taught me something very important. Departure is always hard but it is something I have to accept and move on with my life. All of us still can be best of friends but we can't be together as often as we did back then that's all.

Meeting new friends, not something easy to do. I remember how cautious I was back then, don't even dare to open up to my friends until 4 years later. Haha. I guess that is just a typical me. I don't really know whom I can trust.

Don't get me wrong it's not like I think that the whole world is against me or anything. All right, back to the preparation of college. I guess the first thing I need to learn is how to sleep earlier and get up earlier. Hopefully college would be an absolutely relax life. haha. I have to admit I more incline to the lazy side of mine.

After being on sabbatical for err 6 months was it? Finally, I get to study again. If I don't study I work, so I prefer studying haha that's why I make it sound so pleasurable. Besides studying, I get to play my guitar which is quite fun or funny, depending on how I play it. Haha.

Studying at UTAR isn't some choice that I have due to financial difficulty, how I wish I could venture into the other parts of the world. Despite feeling cornered up at one stage of my life, I guess it is up to me to make the best out of things right now. Feeling kind of down at the moment for no reason at all.

Ermmmm, feeling kind of hard to pen down my feelings and thoughts right now...... So, that's it for now. I will try to share my thoughts with you guys the next time.

College is not a bed of roses.....

Last Sunday, I went to the Utar campus in PJ to make sure I know how to get there. Well, what I realised was going to college isn't as fun or as easy as it seemed to be. From my home, I went to the Tasik Selatan train station. Then from there I waited for about 30 minutes before finally able to board the darn train.

Speaking of frustration... This is just the beginning. Once I reached KL Sentral, I needed to switch to the LRT. Really makes me wonder, why can't the government just build a cohesive transport system? Rather than switching rides here and there. I guess this is just another example of how inept our government is.

From KL Sentral, I took the LRT to Asia Jaya and from there, I had to take the rapid KL bus to Utar. After stopping at the bus stop I need to walk quite a distance before finally reaching my intended destination.

Sounds complex? That is just how screwed up our transport system is. It really got up to my nerves. Darn it! The whole trip from my house to the college took a whooping 2 hours. So, a day to and fro would take me 4 hours. I really can't believe I need to waste so much time getting to college.

Well, but that is life.....college life...... Hopefully things will only get brighter. Haiz, darn those wrecthed officials.........

Guitar lesson ( first day)

Today is my first guitar lesson. Finally get to learn some real stuff rather than strumming that guitar like an idiot all day long. haha. So, the first thing we learnt (I said we because I am learning with Wei Ming ) was playing the song 'Bubbly'.

I messed up quite a number of times, I just don't know how to switch chords yet. Wei Ming was doing excellent I could see. So sad... Beaten by him once again.... T.T

Okay back to playing that song. Actually I kind of rate myself as good because by the time I reached home I was able to play it quite convincingly. So pretty impressed with myself. The first time I am able to play something pleasant to hear haha. Okay that's it for now. I need to go on strumming my guitar. As they say practice makes perfect!